eat, sleep, and joke

2010-01-03T20:56:00.000-08:00

i
always
thought
flipbooks
were FRESH..

i
saw this
video one day
in a store & always
thought it was FRESH..

<3,
YOUr HOnor

Zappy New YEAR!! (party horn)

2009-12-20T19:04:00.000-08:00

NiCE.. This da kinda kool stuff you wish you'd see more of:

wAy ta get creaTive.. & da joint was HoT! haha
Sorry it covers the stuff on the right side of the whole blog...oh well. There is a version that fits better but this dat "BIGBoY" HD joint Shawty!! ..BALLiN

Technology is wild..,
YOUr HOnor

LoNG LiVe The KiNG!!!

2009-06-30T21:05:00.000-07:00

MAY THE RECORD REFLECT THE KID WHO ACCUSED MICHAEL JACKSON OF SEXUAL ABUSE HAS NOW, IN HIS DEATH, COME FORWARD AND ADMIT THE ALLEGATIONS WERE ALL LIES!!! Dude was the KOLDEST solo artist / performer ever... the KiNG of PoP!!

R.I.P.
Michael "MJ" Jackson
1958 - 2009

<3,
YOU HOnor

May the Record also reflect: ..His catalog is still krazy

Sounds Like a Hu$tle..

2009-05-30T09:22:00.000-07:00

Nice! We here at ESJ have the opportunity to bring YOU the debut solo video by RisingSons member TRiP. The song is entitled "?Por Que?"..Omjeezy i LOVE this guy...Enjoi!
<3,
YOUr HOnor

PS: WHY..? why??

Soon Come..

2009-04-21T16:27:00.001-07:00

He's BAack . .
<3,
YOUr HOnor

PS: "Give me 11 excederine my head'll spin/Medicine'll have me rev-ing like a 747 jet engine/etc..." ~ Eminem Circa 99'

HAPPY 4 . 20 ! ! !

2009-04-20T11:48:00.000-07:00

Enjoi..
<3,
YOUr HOnor

The ORIGINAL Kings of Bling! ! !

2009-04-11T17:47:00.000-07:00

Recession got you down..? Well let us take this time to remember some of the original icons of black extravagance. These Bruthas balled like a dawg at a time when black people we lucky to land a roll as an extra...let alone really damn SHINE!!! These are the ORIGINAL KiNGS OF BLING!!!

These kats here are some of the unsung heroes of the ICE-AGE. Partly because it won't no Bruthas on the tube, and partly because all three of these cats were just the shit..

Off jump, we got the "The JYD"...The JunkYardDog. Hailing from the N.O. this dude right here is a ol' skool Hot Boy Shawty! Fa all ya'll young punks out there who never got to see The JYD in action this dude used ta be on tV way back in the eighties when the world still thought wrestling was real. He was a head-bussa(hand in fist) know all the way from August,GA ta Japan for whoopin dat ass..ha ha. The JunkYardDog didn't take no shit & was KRUNK as hell every time he entered the arena!!! He stayed on some hOOd shiT and was always FRESH ta DEF when not in the ring. He was such a "G" he even had one interview wit 2 Fly-Ass hood chicks cooking up Soul-fOOd for the JYD & his peeps..dead ass. ha ha

The JYD stayed SHINING on foos' WORLD-WiDE beginning in the early eighties...His pieces might not be as big ass Ghost shit, but damn Shawty this was like 82'...Bottom line he was on of the first kats ta be on TV wearin all dat jury..

Even though the white folks at his job wasn't really feelin all that "ghetto ass jewelery" while he was in his "uniform" The "JYD" did keep it "100" and said fuk dat shit.. keeping at least one of his rope joints on deck at all times...For the record he never got jacked fa his shit. Sylvester Ritter...AN ORIGINAL KiNG OF BLING ~R.I.P. JYD~

Up next we got dat BoY Mr.T!! Holdin iT Down fa Chi-Town!! Reppin dem "A-Team" Gangstas. Mr.T started stuntin on kats early in the game as bouncer at a club where he used ta beat da brakes off of foos' and throw them out the club. He actually came up on his jewels by taking/finding peoples shit at the club...damn. He would be posted right out front the club, so if anybody came back looking fo dey shit they could see it right on his neck...Clearly, not many people came back for dey shit...lol(smh)

When I was kindergarten me & my lil homies went to Toy "R" Us one Saturday morning and got to met Mr.T, he gave us dap & said something I can't remember anymore...That shit was tight.. Outside of doing it BiG for da shorties Mr.T also used ta be on da hoes. He stayed SHINING and never got "tried". Laurence Tureaud...AN ORIGINAL KiNG OF BLING!!

Last but not least in this line of innovators we have "The Ruler"...SLiCK!....RiCK!! This dude was the koldest story teller since Dr. Seuss and he had the krazy London accent..SOUTH WIMBLEDON Stand UP!!! For the only dude in the rap game soo icey enough to publicly lay the SHiNE on Ghostface neck...damn g.

This dude used ta look like he walked right outta Tut's Tomb wit all da illest pieces. Unlike "The JYD" and "Mr.T", Slick Rick was a lil dude...a slim cutter...a smooth ass Playa who ain't work out shit but his trigger finger. "The Ruler" actually did a nice lil bid in Rikers for two-counts of attempted murder behind some haters tryin ta set him up fa his SHINE. Ricky Walters..AN ORIGINAL KING OF BLING

Nuff said..
<3,
YOU HOnor

What is "MF" you SiLLYs!?!

2009-04-08T16:06:00.000-07:00

Shouts OUT to the Homie DJ Dainja! He just blessed us with his dope new MF DooM Mix!!!

Cut & paste the link below to your browser:

http://www.msplinks.com/MDFodHRwczovL3d3dy55b3VzZW5kaXQuY29tL2Rvd25sb2FkL1VtTkpjMlpKWVhsbE0xTkdhMUU5UFE=

_________________________________________________________________________________

Tracklisting:

1-intro
2-All Caps
3-Greenbacks w/ Megalon
4-Potholders w/ Count Bass D
5-Trapdoor w/ Jake One
6-Let Me Watch w/ Apani B.
7-ATHF
8-Meatgrinder
9-Saliva w/ RJD2
10-Vomit
11-Rock Co Kane Flow w/ De La Soul
12-Strange Ways
13-Vaudeville Villain
14-Fondle Em Fossils
15- Go With The Flow w/ Sci Fly
16- Yikes w/ Scienz of Life
17 - No Names
18 - Distant Star w/ Percee P and Heliocentrics
19 - Money Folder
20 - The Mask w/ Ghostface
21 - Raid
22-B-ball Zombie War w/ Jay Dilla
23 - Hoecakes
24 - El Chupa Libre
25 - Ace in the Hole w/ 3rd Bass
26 - Gas Face w/ 3rd Bass
27 - Gas Face Refill
28 - Mic Sounds Nice w/ Jon Doe
29 - Peach Fuzz
30 - Outro w/ Brak and Zorak
______________________________________________________________________________________

<3,
YOUr HOnor

A LiL Ass "G"...

2009-04-08T11:19:00.000-07:00

Every wonder what the real result of the over saturation of rampant violence, sex, & unruly-ness courtesy of main stream media has on our youth? Well meet young Latarian Milton.

This post is courtesy of the fine people at "the reggae club"... Shouts OuT ta da homie "KRUNKman!" Thanx G
<3,
YOUr HOnor

PS: I blame Radio ONE & FOX for this..(Lasers & air horns!!!)

DAmn...

2009-04-07T22:47:00.001-07:00

Oh hell naw!! How Chris Cheezy gone whoop our ORIGINAL Bus-IT-Baby(peep the archives ho!)... It's NOT o.k.! YOu fake ass Michael Jackson..u

<3,
YOUr HOnor

Why so serious AMERICA?

2009-03-05T15:16:00.000-08:00

<3,
YOUr HOnor

ToNiGHT i'M gOiNg DiGiTAL! ! !

2009-02-18T17:21:00.000-08:00

REGULAR t.v. is going diGital...Shawty

<3,
YOUr HOnor

Damn: I still ain't got no box... uh oh

Just Because

2009-02-17T04:57:00.000-08:00

see more pwn and owned pictures

We've all had one of those days.

100% Pregnancy Proof

2009-02-16T20:08:00.000-08:00

While watching the Grammys, i couldn't help but notice that MIA was pregnant and thought of the perfect birth control method. Forget birth control pills, condoms, female condoms, punching stomachs, and all other birth control methods. ES & J has the perfect birth control method...wait for it....wait for it....have sex with pregnant women. This is perfect for all you guys who refuse to use condoms during sex. Once again ES & J has came up with a brilliant idea!!! I know I know. Gratitude not needed but cash is always welcomed here at ES & J.

Dude...

2009-02-02T14:48:00.001-08:00

(inside the mind of an 8-time Olympic Gold Medalist)

"I'd have like 9 GOLDs if I could just quit smoking (cough x 3) ...it's cashed"

<3,
YOUr HOnor

PS: WoW... Somebody hated soo hard by actually TAKiNG this pic & really SENDiNG it to the press, dats cold...SHake 'em oFF Mikey Dude..nice watch

Trash Island...wow

2009-02-02T11:08:00.000-08:00

Dear beloved readers of this tom foolery what would you say if I told you that some where in the Pacific Ocean between California and Hawaii there is a floating, toxic, plastic garbage island approximately TWICE THE SIZE OF TEXAS...

WELL PiMP...this shit is real. In fact here's what evironmental specialist have to say:

"The enormous stew of trash - which consists of 80 percent plastics and weighs some 3.5 million tons, say oceanographers - floats where few people ever travel, in a no-man's land between San Francisco and Hawaii.
...
The patch has been growing, along with ocean debris worldwide, tenfold every decade since the 1950s"

~ Chris Parry, public education program manager with the California Coastal Commission in San Francisco.

And yea I know...Fuck Mother Earth! ..why should WE care? Well, assuming you eat food.. like most mortals...Then this will, and does, affect you. You see fish and wildlife are living in/on said Filth Island...and yep WE are eating these yummy animals, or other animals who ate them...somewhere down the line. Check out the insides of this decomposing Albatross found on the "Island". Needless to say, fish are also eating GOOD on the "Island"

NiCE!!
All this yummy toxic fillet is making my thirsty...Might I trouble you for a glass of water. Please..

Graci..Aahh refreshing(chewing my water) ..Thanx Homie!
<3,
YOUr HOnor

PS: Wait a minute...this really isn't fUNNY?!? ...NOPE
Ha ha
Shouts out ta all my litter bugs...fuk yo kids shawty!

daY-N-Night...

2009-01-26T23:12:00.000-08:00

Obama:
"Baby, I'm really feelin that new joint.."Day & Night"...when i first heard it i was like damn! This MUST be the dopest shit on "808's & Heartbreaks"...

But then G-Dub told me it won't even Ye'?!?...I knew he was gone tell me some shit..but damn!! what da HeLL?!.."

Jammin none the less tho Shawty.. GO HeaD Kid Cudi!! and take these fooLs wit cha..

Bush:
"Fuk You America!! Ha!ha! 8 years YOU fucks..yep..Dallas TeXas! We're Comin HOME!!!
WOOO!!! Let's Roll!!(ridiculous everybody get cha roll on arm motions)"

<3,
YOUr HOnor

PS: Day n Night...clearly

The OTHER dream Dr.King kept having...

2009-01-19T10:18:00.000-08:00

On this historic Martin Luther King Day we here at ESJ are taking time out to shed light on Dr.King's other, far less publicized, re-occuring DREAM. To this day very few people are aware that Dr.King actually had another rather prophetic re-occuring dream which would keep him up at night during the much televised Freedom Rides.

This "OTHER" dream was of a young white boy, also destine to be known as "The King." That white boy was Rodney Mullen, the un-herald "King" of Street Skating. So, on this historic King Day, on the eve of the inauguration of this Nation's first ever Black President, and in memory of the GREAT Reverend Martin Luther King Jr., we bring you a NEVER before seen exclusive look at the "OTHER" dream Dr.King kept having..

The only weird thing about this story was that during the course of our research we also discovered numerous secret memoirs which revealed that Dr.King would also dream in Lego sequences ...from time to time. Weird huh..?!?

...BUT the DREAMS were always the same... watch

***This WORLD-WIDE EXCLUSIVE(imagine kool graphics)!!! is currently being covered no where else in the world...if anyone else so much as even mentions it without giving props to "Eat,Sleep and Joke" and throwing up our gang-sign, we will hunt you down and DE-Friend you on FaceBook, MySpace, and Gchat...This means YOU MediaTakeOut!***

<3,
YOUr HOnor

PS: Bringing YOU da REALLY real...fa REAL real REALLY
PPS: Go Rodney it's ya BiRTHDAY!!!!

"M'ember dat time Pac was on Living Color Shawty ..?"

2009-01-17T11:32:00.000-08:00

Ladies & Gentlemen of the Court the above question hath so eloquently been posed by the PEOPLE..and quite frankly, WE here at ESJ do REMEMBER that time Tupac Shakur himself, was, in fact, on the television show "In Living Color."

..Or do we?
Allow us to jog your memory.. SHAwty

EnjoI.

This is GREAT..lol...Tommy Davidson @ 3:10 is da funniest shit!

<3,
YOUr HOnor

More Importantly: R.I.P. PAC!!!

Behold The Pale Snacks..

2009-01-11T13:46:00.000-08:00

I would just like to take this time to go on record as saying "F-U Frito-Lay!!"..For as long as I can remember now EVERY Frito Lay snack has be getting smaller and increasing in price. Today I think I bought (5)lays potato chips for $.99....Not five lil bags of chips, but a huge $.99 bag of smelly air that magically contained 5 lil broken-ass chips down at the bottom...WTF dawg!

REALLY!?!

We guess what dammit..I ain't fo it...so F! U! frito-lay. I'm not supposed ta light certain plants on fire, but these jackalopes are allowed to piss down the back of Lady Liberty and call it free enterprise.

:::Shaking my fist

<3,
yOUR hONOR

PS:...nope

What's on your ipod...?

2008-12-27T22:34:00.000-08:00

In the spirit of what's ReaLLY GOOD out here i will from time to time put yOu on to some dope-ass shit, worth investing your attention span in...IF...you are willing. Hear..(no typo) in the "NEW America" we MUST keep on rockin in da freeworld. So without further a due we Gone Start This Thang Off Right! We got da "NEW YOUNG PONY CLUB"!!!In da House 2nite!

New Young Pony Club//"The Bomb"//Off their Album "Fantastic Playroom"

<3,
YoUr Honor

PS: Available on iTunes

Kwanzaa: 1966-2008

2008-12-26T08:20:00.000-08:00

Why stop at DC? Let's take over the NP--The North Pole bitches--How would Jeezy put it, My Santa Claus is Black, My Lambo's Blue!

In 1978, the kreator of kwanzaa, Ronald McKinley Everett, aka Dr. Maulana Karenga, told the Washington Post: "People think its [African], but it's not. I came up with Kwanzaa because black people in this country wouldn't celebrate it if they knew it was American."

Couldn't have said it better myself, Cancelled!

Merry Christmas

2008-12-24T21:17:00.000-08:00

Happy Festivus

2008-12-23T19:28:00.000-08:00

I think Frank Costanza was right. Decorations are distracting.

Lets All Welcome Festivus to the Holiday Family

2008-12-23T19:16:00.000-08:00

In December 2008, in response to an atheist sign displayed near a nativity scene, and the influx of requests for other displays, the Washington State Capitol approved a private citizen to have a Festivus Pole displayed.

Happy Holidays!!

A NATiON UNiTED!!!

2008-12-22T07:42:00.000-08:00

Fellow COUNTRY MEN...On this Monday December 22, 2008. I, YOur HONOR, will sacrifice for your cause. Today, I will do what ever I was planning on anyways as a show of solidarity for your cause. This Holiday Season we here at ES&J just want you to know...WE got YOU Dawg!

<3,
YOur Honor

I am on BREAK... C-Y-A-D*

2008-12-18T09:47:00.000-08:00

B/c eVERYBODY needs some time ta chill...

This holiday season take you some time ta just relax Shawty

<3,
YOur Honor

PS: *(Calm YOUR ASS down)

Eat, Sleep, and Joke

2008-12-15T20:32:00.000-08:00

"eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke"

<3,
Your Honor

oH & uh: "eat sleep and joke"

Ha HA.....NiCE

2008-12-14T17:20:00.000-08:00

!!DOUBLE POST!!!

!!DOUBLE POST!!

(In Regards to the story below)

WoW lol...I was just finna post this SAME joint myself. I HATE to admit it, but Bush was definitely on point...lol...prolly b/c he know he be on some BUShiT!! ...like when you go around somebody you know you done fuk'd over..lol..you be on point the WHOLE time...Like I know dey gone try & get me shawty lol

<3,
YOur Honor

PS: Tightwork Holmes!...MoRE FiYAH!!

pisST:...LoL I had ta gone still post it shawty..I have been waitin for this for too long...For the 1st time in ES&J history we have a !!DOUBLE POST!! of the exact same issue...this CNN wrap up is too funny...lol Keep in mind in Iraqi culture hitting someone w/ your shoe is the UTMOST disrespect...bout like someone spitting in your face over here...damn.

We Gettin A-Rab Loafers!

2008-12-14T16:39:00.000-08:00

An Iraqi journalist launches 2 shoes at President-Reject George Bush.
I can't front, Bushy's reaction time is kinda on point, and he definitely hopped back up like "Yeah you missed you bitchass nig-Oh shit another shoe!"

The impotence of the Secret Service exposed right before the first black/most death-threat-gettingest President is about to take office, great.

a Skin-Crawlingly ILL animated graf Mural called "MUTO"

2008-12-09T07:54:00.000-08:00

If this is your first time seeing this then this moving mural painted on the streets/walls of Buenos Aires, Argentina is probably going to be the illest thing you see online today.

Done by Italian artist BLU, MUTO is a series of still shots assembled into an animation that makes you start to feel like Seth Rogen did on shrooms at cirque du soleil in Knocked Up!

It's a BOY!!!

2008-12-07T13:42:00.000-08:00

Attention Readers & disgruntle creditors.. Please welcome the newest member of the ES&J Fam!! FiyahCloud! Hailing from that filthy sess pool otherwise known as New York City...Dis foo got SKILLZ! Consider yourselves fortunate.

<3,
Your Honor

PS: I am Wolverine...ha ha

Sex Ed should be outsourced

2008-12-05T08:56:00.000-08:00

We've seen the damage that the lack of a good Sex Ed program has done to the youth of America, so now, its time to outsource!
Sure these jolly dancing condomen seem like they're all about protecting you from becoming an innocent victim of the Monster until about 3:33 in the vid when they straight tell you about yourself, how'd they know?

Ode to the Silver Lining...

2008-12-05T07:12:00.000-08:00

This JUST IN!!! NY Giants recently troubled wide-out Plexico Burress has actually landed a supporting role in Eminem's highly awaited sequel to his box-office smash "8Mile" tentatively entitled "8.2Miles"

Due to the media frenzy surrounding Plexico's self-inflicted gun wound the fine people at New Line Cinema have actually decided to capitalize on the misfortune by reaching out to Burress and offering him the role of none other than "Cheddar BoB" ...Em's low-life acquaintance who also damn near shoots his own dick off.

Plexico has not yet confirmed if he will accept the role. He is still awaiting judicial proceedings to determine whether he will actually be free during the filming, since he currently faces a possible MANDATORY 3&1/2 year sentence for possession of an illegal firearm...nice.

On a brighter, more definite, note Burress has inked a four figure book deal for a tell-all biography entitled "Plexico Burress has an empty shoe box for a brain"..Not bad for a guy getting paid $35Million dollars to run around with a piece of old leather.

<3,
Your Honor

PS: Fuck Teachers & Civil Servants..

STOP Being Racist...DAMN!!

2008-12-05T07:05:00.000-08:00

This shit is funny as hell...because it is so TRUE...I love how he just snapps..lol

<3,
Your Honor

PS: SHoUTS ta da Homie "KrunkMan" fa da goodlook on this one..funny stuff

Fam-Lay!!!

2008-12-04T10:10:00.000-08:00

It is with great apprehension that we welcome the newest member of the ES&J Fam-Lay!!
My dawg..."The BMD"

<3,
Your Honor

PS:..Tiger-Tiger Woods Ya'll!!

Psychology 101

2008-12-03T13:00:00.001-08:00

For all you guys stressed about your psych final, just watch this video it will explain everything.

Sex Ed Is Definitely Necessary

2008-12-02T08:17:00.000-08:00

There has never been a stronger argument made for sex education in schools until now. Enjoy!!

The MOST DiSRESPECTFUL battle rap EVER!!!

2008-12-01T22:48:00.000-08:00

Hardcore hip hop heads...Say want you want about Puffy's MTV reality show "Making The Band," but behind the scenes on one episode was the setting for the MOST ViCiOUS battle rap I have ever heard.. in my life...

I present to you Jae Millz vs. Ness...(Ness is Puffy's boy/victim from "the band"...Jae Millz DESTROYS DUDE!!!)

"The MOST DiSRESPECTFUL battle rap EVER!!!"

<3,
Your Honor

PS: Sux they couldn't show this part on the show...lol....WOw.

Things i remember..

2008-12-01T22:38:00.000-08:00

As a kid i used ta think this was hella kool...Want a beer lil guy?

<3,
Your Honor

Worlds AIDS Day 2008

2008-12-01T13:37:00.001-08:00

In honor of World AIDS Day, I just want to wish everyone good health, be careful, get tested, and please people, no sex with monkeys, at least for today.

The Simpsons vs. Family Guy

2008-11-30T06:52:00.000-08:00

You ever get really blowed & wonder who would win in a fight between Homer & Krusty vs. Stewie & Peter? Well wonder no more Lass for the fine people at MMA(mixed martial animation) have finally managed ta put together a card to settle this epic dispute. Who better than the fine fOLKs down here at ES&J ta put YOU on ta some action!?!

It is with great honor that I bring to you this weeks MAIN EVENT!!

<3,
Your Honor

This clip contains graphic violence & Tom Foolery...u have been warned

Get WELL SOON KaT!!

2008-11-30T06:22:00.000-08:00

Kat William's Get Well SooN Shawty!!! Hey, all the GREAT ones go thru it. Historically, the vast majority of the really dope comedians at some point nut-up. Martin Lawrence, Dave Chapell, Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor...etc. So ta all you HATERS thinking my man Kat fell off...FUK YA'LL!

If, and when, he decides to return ta da stage he WILL be funnier than ever. Till then may we all pay homage to a PiMP! The clip above is truly inspirational. So when life starts to get you down think of it and just SMiLE. Because hey, least you got yo legs, I hope. And even if you ain't got no legs SMILE because hey...You could be DEAD. And if you actually wish you were dead SMiLE because we do TOO! ;-)

<3,
YOur Honor

PS: For those of you reading this like I'm trippin...SURE...you're right, Byron Allen never nutted-up...but dat dat muafuka was also NEVER funny...a fate fare worse than insanity.

PsssT: "Poor lil Tink Tink...ain't dat a bitch..."lmao

Can Emoticons Save the World...

2008-11-29T11:39:00.000-08:00

With all this turmoil in the world, I started thinking ...what could be a possible solution to all this mayhem? More warfare, too expensive and uncertain. More diplomacy, maybe but that still is uncertain as to its effectiveness. Then, as i was chatting with someone they made a rude remark but added an emoticon after it. It completely negated the rude remark because emoticons are irresistibly adorable. Then I started thinking...what if emoticons were used to negotiate with terrorists? Can Osama really resist the sheer adorability of an emoticon? I think not.

I mean do you have any solutions...exactly.

Is This You--Post Thanksgiving Feast

2008-11-28T16:39:00.000-08:00

Are feeling like you ate too much and feeling a little fat after eating all that food yesterday. Well the folks at ES&J have just the thing for you...TAPEWORMS. I know what you're thinking. Aren't tapeworms bad for me? Aren't they fatal if left inside me too long? Look, you have to ask yourself! How bad do I want this, blubber butt? Now even though we haven't tried this ourselves or know of anyone who has successfully done this; we are confident this will work. I mean, my dog got tapeworms last year...worked like a charm. Now, if anyone tries this do NOT forget to take before and after pictures to track your progress. And remember, the tapeworm diet will look better if there is more nudity in the before picture rather than the after. Alright send all responses ASAP.

ES&J will not be held liable for any adverse affects due to the use of the Tapeworm Diet.

Speedy Gonzales was & still is da SHiT!!!

2008-11-28T08:26:00.000-08:00

MeXICO STAND UP!!!!

Today it is my pleasure to bring you an exclusive look into the lives of both the FASTEST mouse in all of Mexico...& the SLOWEST mouse in all of Mexico. These guys R GRRreAT!!

<3,
Your Honor

PS: Trick LUV da kids..

I dunno...

2008-11-28T08:10:00.001-08:00

I'm not quite sure how I feel about my neighbor's holiday cards this year..

An Homage to Tender Family Moments

2008-11-27T10:52:00.000-08:00

In honor of today being Thanksgiving, I have decided to reminisce on the tender family moments that have shaped my childhood. If you were a child growing up in the 90s then you know exactly what I am talking about and you loved them! It was a great way for tv shows to let you know when to pay attention because there was an important lesson coming. I only wish there could be some music or signal in real life to point out when there is a lesson to be learned. If anyone has invented this for real world application let me know immediately because I fear that I miss learning these lessons often due to the absence of music or any other signal.

Give ThanX

2008-11-27T06:48:00.000-08:00

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! Ta ALL Jive Turkeys...Gobble Gobble ShawtY

(Oops..forgot to tag this photo but these dudes are all Jive Turkeys as well)

..and WE done came a long way like dem slim-ass cigarettes>>

2008-11-26T19:46:00.000-08:00

In honor of PRESIDENT Elect Barack Obama I present to you..."BiD 'Em IN!!"...a small piece on what it was..

<3,
Your Honor

PS: This Thanksgiving i am THANKFUL for CHANGE!

PPS: Shouts out ta da "native" Americans..

Donde..?

2008-11-26T16:24:00.000-08:00

WE miss you man.

<3,
Your Honor

GANG of the WEEK:::

2008-11-26T14:17:00.000-08:00

This week's.. GANG oF The WEEK:::

IS THE "SOMALIAN PiRATES"!!!

That's right we here at ESJ encourage our veiwers ta put down that pesky book and go join a gang! C'mon let your hair down...age 20+...no felonies?!? What are you waitin on...fuk UP!

The commentator here defeinitely does the MOST...dude be wiLDIN!

For futher information regarding joining the ranks of the "Somalian Pirates" try navigating a small dingy to the coast of Somalia..and representative of the Pirates will actually come & greet you :-)

BUT WAIT!!!For a little more historical content, regarding this awesome group of swashbucklers please cut & paste the link below, before you get the tattoo...This is the Judge speaking & for the record..The dude @ :20secs on the clip below totally makes the joke...lmao.

http://video.nytimes.com/video/2008/09/30/world/africa/1194820108965/somali-pirates-hold-ship.html?partner=permalink&exprod=permalink

PiRATES...wow...shit is real out here "G"

<3,
Your Honor

BTW: Ay! Ay! MATE!!
pps: GAAR!!!

Kanye West Was Wrong?

2008-11-26T12:10:00.000-08:00

We're still not convinced that George Bush likes Black people but this photo-op is hilarious.

Jesus LOVES you...& so does GhostFaceKillah..

2008-11-26T09:26:00.000-08:00

If you ever have a question in this world...quiet your soul & listen to that Wu-Tang Clan member in the heart of us all...GhostFaceKillah!!!
<3,
Your Honor

PS:GFK!!! all day everyday

ALL RiSE!!!

2008-11-26T08:42:00.000-08:00

So I am the Honorable "Your Honor"...sit cha ass down. Please turn off all cellular deviecs & vibrators in my Courtroom. The above video is an excellent summary of my default RULE..."Doowutchyalike" b/c no matter what somebody's gonna have some shit ta say...My post will NOT be for the faint of heart, or the overly sensitive. I too am a HATER...I too am a LOVER.

I represent that fool you can't stand...that person you would KiLL if there were no consequences. I voted for mcCain & helped that dumb bitch carve that backwards "B" on her face. I hit your car with my buggy every time I go to Kroger...I am older than Bram Stoker's "Dracula" & never plan on dying. You are blessed to have access to my thoughts.

I do not even like Shaun...I am contributing to this BLOG as a part of the plea agreement I worked out with the Walker Co. DA's office after they busted my meth lab...fUK dat snitchin-ass old lady who called the cops just cuz she saw me dragging a corpse...(F!!U!! OKAY old LADY!!!!..you shoulda been minding yo damn business) EAT, SLEEP, and JOKE!...& DO NOT fuk wit us. We are kool wit dat fool Tom from MySpace & We will pop up at yo crib if you try us..By the way HAVE A GOOD DAY!!

<3,
Your Honor

PS: Say holmes how old is your sister?

5 Comedians That Need to Go Away

2008-11-26T08:38:00.000-08:00

1. Bob Saget
2. D.L.Hugley
3. Jeff Foxworthy
4. Larry the Cable Guy
5. That Frank TV Guy

Hey...if you're mad at my picks then post one joke of theirs in this decade that was funny.

Scarlet Takes A Tumble

2008-11-25T18:08:00.000-08:00

...And Here Is Another Quote From Kurt Vonnegut

2008-11-25T16:53:00.000-08:00

Well, the telling of jokes is an art of its own, and it always rises from some emotional threat. The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful. --Kurt Vonnegut

I Need Goons

2008-11-25T15:52:00.001-08:00

After hearing about the fight that took place last night at the Dirty Awards, I wondered why T.I. didn't get arrested but received all the press for it. Then the answer came like an angel from heaven. He has goons. His goons do all the work, get arrested but T.I. gets all the credit. Which prompted the reason for this post....I need goons. Law school can be a tough and competitive environment and what better way to deal with everyday menaces than having a pair of my very own goons. Of course these prospective goons would have to be threatening, dim-witted and willing to work for free. So if any of you know of someone that would be perfect for this position let me know. Finals are approaching which means there is limited time for goonin' around this semester so get those applications to me sooner rather than later.

Just Because

2008-11-25T15:34:00.000-08:00

In honor of goons, Rihanna is the bust it baby of the week. And look her forehead is covered up in this picture, even better.

Reporter Falls Squashing Grapes

2008-11-25T14:11:00.000-08:00

Reason I Created This Wonderful Place

2008-11-25T12:27:00.000-08:00

This place is for the people who see the absurdity in life and aren't afraid to laugh at it. This site will be composed of different things but none of it will be above the almighty joke. Nothing on this site will be off-limits. You will most likely be offended after reading the filth on this page. However, you may love it, you may even find yourself reading it at 2 in the morning after a coke binge. Whatever. That is the beauty of this site. Well, that's all I have for now...until next time.