In the spirit of what's ReaLLY GOOD out here i will from time to time put yOu on to some dope-ass shit, worth investing your attention span in...IF...you are willing. Hear..(no typo) in the "NEW America" we MUST keep on rockin in da freeworld. So without further a due we Gone Start This Thang Off Right! We got da "NEW YOUNG PONY CLUB"!!!In da House 2nite!
New Young Pony Club//"The Bomb"//Off their Album "Fantastic Playroom"
<3,
YoUr Honor
PS: Available on iTunes
Why stop at DC? Let's take over the NP--The North Pole bitches--How would Jeezy put it, My Santa Claus is Black, My Lambo's Blue!
In 1978, the kreator of kwanzaa, Ronald McKinley Everett, aka Dr. Maulana Karenga, told the Washington Post: "People think its [African], but it's not. I came up with Kwanzaa because black people in this country wouldn't celebrate it if they knew it was American."
Couldn't have said it better myself, Cancelled!
I think Frank Costanza was right. Decorations are distracting.
In December 2008, in response to an atheist sign displayed near a nativity scene, and the influx of requests for other displays, the Washington State Capitol approved a private citizen to have a Festivus Pole displayed.
Happy Holidays!!
Fellow COUNTRY MEN...On this Monday December 22, 2008. I, YOur HONOR, will sacrifice for your cause. Today, I will do what ever I was planning on anyways as a show of solidarity for your cause. This Holiday Season we here at ES&J just want you to know...WE got YOU Dawg!
<3,
YOur Honor
B/c eVERYBODY needs some time ta chill...
This holiday season take you some time ta just relax Shawty
<3,
YOur Honor
PS: *(Calm YOUR ASS down)
"eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke" "eat sleep and joke"
<3,
Your Honor
oH & uh: "eat sleep and joke"
!!DOUBLE POST!!!
!!DOUBLE POST!!
(In Regards to the story below)
WoW lol...I was just finna post this SAME joint myself. I HATE to admit it, but Bush was definitely on point...lol...prolly b/c he know he be on some BUShiT!! ...like when you go around somebody you know you done fuk'd over..lol..you be on point the WHOLE time...Like I know dey gone try & get me shawty lol
<3,
YOur Honor
PS: Tightwork Holmes!...MoRE FiYAH!!
pisST:...LoL I had ta gone still post it shawty..I have been waitin for this for too long...For the 1st time in ES&J history we have a !!DOUBLE POST!! of the exact same issue...this CNN wrap up is too funny...lol Keep in mind in Iraqi culture hitting someone w/ your shoe is the UTMOST disrespect...bout like someone spitting in your face over here...damn.
An Iraqi journalist launches 2 shoes at President-Reject George Bush.
I can't front, Bushy's reaction time is kinda on point, and he definitely hopped back up like "Yeah you missed you bitchass nig-Oh shit another shoe!"
The impotence of the Secret Service exposed right before the first black/most death-threat-gettingest President is about to take office, great.
If this is your first time seeing this then this moving mural painted on the streets/walls of Buenos Aires, Argentina is probably going to be the illest thing you see online today.
Done by Italian artist BLU, MUTO is a series of still shots assembled into an animation that makes you start to feel like Seth Rogen did on shrooms at cirque du soleil in Knocked Up!
Attention Readers & disgruntle creditors.. Please welcome the newest member of the ES&J Fam!! FiyahCloud! Hailing from that filthy sess pool otherwise known as New York City...Dis foo got SKILLZ! Consider yourselves fortunate.
<3,
Your Honor
PS: I am Wolverine...ha ha
We've seen the damage that the lack of a good Sex Ed program has done to the youth of America, so now, its time to outsource!
Sure these jolly dancing condomen seem like they're all about protecting you from becoming an innocent victim of the Monster until about 3:33 in the vid when they straight tell you about yourself, how'd they know?
This JUST IN!!! NY Giants recently troubled wide-out Plexico Burress has actually landed a supporting role in Eminem's highly awaited sequel to his box-office smash "8Mile" tentatively entitled "8.2Miles"
Due to the media frenzy surrounding Plexico's self-inflicted gun wound the fine people at New Line Cinema have actually decided to capitalize on the misfortune by reaching out to Burress and offering him the role of none other than "Cheddar BoB" ...Em's low-life acquaintance who also damn near shoots his own dick off.
Plexico has not yet confirmed if he will accept the role. He is still awaiting judicial proceedings to determine whether he will actually be free during the filming, since he currently faces a possible MANDATORY 3&1/2 year sentence for possession of an illegal firearm...nice.
On a brighter, more definite, note Burress has inked a four figure book deal for a tell-all biography entitled "Plexico Burress has an empty shoe box for a brain"..Not bad for a guy getting paid $35Million dollars to run around with a piece of old leather. 
<3,
Your Honor
PS: Fuck Teachers & Civil Servants..
This shit is funny as hell...because it is so TRUE...I love how he just snapps..lol
<3,
Your Honor
PS: SHoUTS ta da Homie "KrunkMan" fa da goodlook on this one..funny stuff
It is with great apprehension that we welcome the newest member of the ES&J Fam-Lay!!
My dawg..."The BMD"
<3,
Your Honor
PS:..Tiger-Tiger Woods Ya'll!!
For all you guys stressed about your psych final, just watch this video it will explain everything.
There has never been a stronger argument made for sex education in schools until now. Enjoy!!
Hardcore hip hop heads...Say want you want about Puffy's MTV reality show "Making The Band," but behind the scenes on one episode was the setting for the MOST ViCiOUS battle rap I have ever heard.. in my life...
I present to you Jae Millz vs. Ness...(Ness is Puffy's boy/victim from "the band"...Jae Millz DESTROYS DUDE!!!)
"The MOST DiSRESPECTFUL battle rap EVER!!!"
<3,
Your Honor
PS: Sux they couldn't show this part on the show...lol....WOw.
As a kid i used ta think this was hella kool...Want a beer lil guy?
<3,
Your Honor
In honor of World AIDS Day, I just want to wish everyone good health, be careful, get tested, and please people, no sex with monkeys, at least for today.
You ever get really blowed & wonder who would win in a fight between Homer & Krusty vs. Stewie & Peter? Well wonder no more Lass for the fine people at MMA(mixed martial animation) have finally managed ta put together a card to settle this epic dispute. Who better than the fine fOLKs down here at ES&J ta put YOU on ta some action!?!
It is with great honor that I bring to you this weeks MAIN EVENT!!
<3,
Your Honor
This clip contains graphic violence & Tom Foolery...u have been warned
Kat William's Get Well SooN Shawty!!! Hey, all the GREAT ones go thru it. Historically, the vast majority of the really dope comedians at some point nut-up. Martin Lawrence, Dave Chapell, Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor...etc. So ta all you HATERS thinking my man Kat fell off...FUK YA'LL!
If, and when, he decides to return ta da stage he WILL be funnier than ever. Till then may we all pay homage to a PiMP! The clip above is truly inspirational. So when life starts to get you down think of it and just SMiLE. Because hey, least you got yo legs, I hope. And even if you ain't got no legs SMILE because hey...You could be DEAD. And if you actually wish you were dead SMiLE because we do TOO! ;-)
<3,
YOur Honor
PS: For those of you reading this like I'm trippin...SURE...you're right, Byron Allen never nutted-up...but dat dat muafuka was also NEVER funny...a fate fare worse than insanity.
PsssT: "Poor lil Tink Tink...ain't dat a bitch..."lmao
With all this turmoil in the world, I started thinking ...what could be a possible solution to all this mayhem? More warfare, too expensive and uncertain. More diplomacy, maybe but that still is uncertain as to its effectiveness. Then, as i was chatting with someone they made a rude remark but added an emoticon after it. It completely negated the rude remark because emoticons are irresistibly adorable. Then I started thinking...what if emoticons were used to negotiate with terrorists? Can Osama really resist the sheer adorability of an emoticon? I think not.
I mean do you have any solutions...exactly.
Are feeling like you ate too much and feeling a little fat after eating all that food yesterday. Well the folks at ES&J have just the thing for you...TAPEWORMS. I know what you're thinking. Aren't tapeworms bad for me? Aren't they fatal if left inside me too long? Look, you have to ask yourself! How bad do I want this, blubber butt? Now even though we haven't tried this ourselves or know of anyone who has successfully done this; we are confident this will work. I mean, my dog got tapeworms last year...worked like a charm. Now, if anyone tries this do NOT forget to take before and after pictures to track your progress. And remember, the tapeworm diet will look better if there is more nudity in the before picture rather than the after. Alright send all responses ASAP.
ES&J will not be held liable for any adverse affects due to the use of the Tapeworm Diet.
MeXICO STAND UP!!!!
Today it is my pleasure to bring you an exclusive look into the lives of both the FASTEST mouse in all of Mexico...& the SLOWEST mouse in all of Mexico. These guys R GRRreAT!!
<3,
Your Honor
PS: Trick LUV da kids..
I'm not quite sure how I feel about my neighbor's holiday cards this year..
In honor of today being Thanksgiving, I have decided to reminisce on the tender family moments that have shaped my childhood. If you were a child growing up in the 90s then you know exactly what I am talking about and you loved them! It was a great way for tv shows to let you know when to pay attention because there was an important lesson coming. I only wish there could be some music or signal in real life to point out when there is a lesson to be learned. If anyone has invented this for real world application let me know immediately because I fear that I miss learning these lessons often due to the absence of music or any other signal.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! Ta ALL Jive Turkeys...Gobble Gobble ShawtY
(Oops..forgot to tag this photo but these dudes are all Jive Turkeys as well)
In honor of PRESIDENT Elect Barack Obama I present to you..."BiD 'Em IN!!"...a small piece on what it was..
<3,
Your Honor
PS: This Thanksgiving i am THANKFUL for CHANGE!
PPS: Shouts out ta da "native" Americans..
This week's.. GANG oF The WEEK:::
IS THE "SOMALIAN PiRATES"!!!
That's right we here at ESJ encourage our veiwers ta put down that pesky book and go join a gang! C'mon let your hair down...age 20+...no felonies?!? What are you waitin on...fuk UP!
The commentator here defeinitely does the MOST...dude be wiLDIN!
For futher information regarding joining the ranks of the "Somalian Pirates" try navigating a small dingy to the coast of Somalia..and representative of the Pirates will actually come & greet you :-)
BUT WAIT!!!For a little more historical content, regarding this awesome group of swashbucklers please cut & paste the link below, before you get the tattoo...This is the Judge speaking & for the record..The dude @ :20secs on the clip below totally makes the joke...lmao.
http://video.nytimes.com/video/2008/09/30/world/africa/1194820108965/somali-pirates-hold-ship.html?partner=permalink&exprod=permalink
PiRATES...wow...shit is real out here "G"
<3,
Your Honor
BTW: Ay! Ay! MATE!!
pps: GAAR!!!
We're still not convinced that George Bush likes Black people but this photo-op is hilarious.
If you ever have a question in this world...quiet your soul & listen to that Wu-Tang Clan member in the heart of us all...GhostFaceKillah!!!
<3,
Your Honor
PS:GFK!!! all day everyday
So I am the Honorable "Your Honor"...sit cha ass down. Please turn off all cellular deviecs & vibrators in my Courtroom. The above video is an excellent summary of my default RULE..."Doowutchyalike" b/c no matter what somebody's gonna have some shit ta say...My post will NOT be for the faint of heart, or the overly sensitive. I too am a HATER...I too am a LOVER.
I represent that fool you can't stand...that person you would KiLL if there were no consequences. I voted for mcCain & helped that dumb bitch carve that backwards "B" on her face. I hit your car with my buggy every time I go to Kroger...I am older than Bram Stoker's "Dracula" & never plan on dying. You are blessed to have access to my thoughts.
I do not even like Shaun...I am contributing to this BLOG as a part of the plea agreement I worked out with the Walker Co. DA's office after they busted my meth lab...fUK dat snitchin-ass old lady who called the cops just cuz she saw me dragging a corpse...(F!!U!! OKAY old LADY!!!!..you shoulda been minding yo damn business) EAT, SLEEP, and JOKE!...& DO NOT fuk wit us. We are kool wit dat fool Tom from MySpace & We will pop up at yo crib if you try us..By the way HAVE A GOOD DAY!!
<3,
Your Honor
PS: Say holmes how old is your sister?
1. Bob Saget
2. D.L.Hugley
3. Jeff Foxworthy
4. Larry the Cable Guy
5. That Frank TV Guy
Hey...if you're mad at my picks then post one joke of theirs in this decade that was funny.
Well, the telling of jokes is an art of its own, and it always rises from some emotional threat. The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful. --Kurt Vonnegut
After hearing about the fight that took place last night at the Dirty Awards, I wondered why T.I. didn't get arrested but received all the press for it. Then the answer came like an angel from heaven. He has goons. His goons do all the work, get arrested but T.I. gets all the credit. Which prompted the reason for this post....I need goons. Law school can be a tough and competitive environment and what better way to deal with everyday menaces than having a pair of my very own goons. Of course these prospective goons would have to be threatening, dim-witted and willing to work for free. So if any of you know of someone that would be perfect for this position let me know. Finals are approaching which means there is limited time for goonin' around this semester so get those applications to me sooner rather than later.
In honor of goons, Rihanna is the bust it baby of the week. And look her forehead is covered up in this picture, even better.
This place is for the people who see the absurdity in life and aren't afraid to laugh at it. This site will be composed of different things but none of it will be above the almighty joke. Nothing on this site will be off-limits. You will most likely be offended after reading the filth on this page. However, you may love it, you may even find yourself reading it at 2 in the morning after a coke binge. Whatever. That is the beauty of this site. Well, that's all I have for now...until next time.
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